Baby Jacob reflection part 2; or, a rough day for the little stinker

So today wasn't Jacob's best day.

By virtue of leaving the hospital a day early we had a 48 hour checkup at the doctor. The positive note is that the little tyke sleeps well in the car and that his doctor, Dr. Tom Maloney, is a great guy. Dr. Maloney was my pediatrician and its great to be able to have a man I trust so well to care for my son.

The not so positive news is the boy has some jaundice. A blood draw at the doc showed bilirubin levels not so high as to warrant immediate treatment, but high enough to have us come back early tomorrow morning for another check.

The blood draw and excitement threw the little man off schedule. He didn't move his bowels at all Friday and he may have urinated only once or twice, when he should have gone 3-4 times. This, and the jaundice, and some lethargy got us to page Dr. Maloney, but with an appointment scheduled tomorrow he advised us to relax, reminded us that new parents are expected to worry, and that the little guy should bounce back in no time.

Tomorrow we see Dr. Wisenberger, who was Kelli's pediatrician growing up. Fun how that works out.

Kelli's milk started to come in big time today, and Jacob wasn't all that hungry. He ate a few times, and finally had a real good feeding later in the day with the assistance of Aunt Rachel. Aunt Rachel is my sister, and she's also a nurse. It helps to have a baby savvy medical professional around to keep new parents calm.

The little tyke has been Fussy McFussterton most of the day but he's laying down now. Mommy's trying to get some rest and Daddy's on baby watch in case he needs a diaper change or just some calming cuddles.

I know jaundice is a fairly normal thing, and all his trouble today was fairly normal stuff too, but I get it now. When a parent tells a non-parent they can't truly understand the worry, the stress, the fear of a not perfectly healthy child, the non-parent rolls their eyes.

Whatever, they think. You give the kid the care they need, worry a tad sure, but mostly you go about your business. Well, that's not how it works. The doctor said jaundice and I was terrified, even though I know it will likely be ok.

When he wouldn't eat for a bit, when he was too sleepy, when we wouldn't be calmed... all those moments today made me so nervous I wanted to rush the little guy to a doctor and say FIX HIM NOW.

All told the kid is fine. My brain knows that. My heart believes he'll be just fine. Something more primal though keeps nagging me with worry. I guess that's called parenthood.

Back on the happy side however, Jacob seemed to really like spending some time with Aunt Rachel. He also got to meet Kelli's sister Aunt Cari today. Cari brought over a lovely meal we'll eat sometime soon and Jessica from our church group of young parents brought over tonight's dinner of turkey noodle soup and salad. It was the first healthy meal Kelli and I have had since Jacob was born, and it was delicious.

Jacob continues to impress with his strength. His neck control is amazing. He lifts his head for several seconds at a time and looks around. I didn't think newborns could do that. His grip is incredible and OF COURSE his lungs must be Olympic swimmer quality as loud as he can yell.

I still can't believe how amazing my wife is. I knew she'd be a great mom and I knew she'd love him, but her self-sacrificing love for him is incredible and he and I are so blessed. I still can't believe how much I love the little guy too. I sing to him, making up words to old lullaby tunes while rocking him to sleep. It really is so cool.

Speaking of blessings. I have a neat Catholic app on my phone that has some great prayers on it. The app is called Laudate. Here's a prayer I've been saying for the little guy all day. It's by St. Augustine and its called Prayer for the Sick. I like it because it's a beautiful prayer for a sick one and his stressed parents, but also because it calls to mind Christ's incredible love, and that many people are in a tougher situation than me. It is good to be grounded with such thoughts.

"Watch, O Lord, with those who wake, or watch, or weep tonight
And give your angels charge over those who sleep

Tend your sick ones, O Lord Christ.
Rest your weary ones.
Bless your dying ones.
Soothe your suffering ones.
Shield your joyous ones.
And for all your love's sake, Amen."

I have SO MUCH to learn about being a parent and I have a hunch that days like today, days when things aren't always perfect, may end up being the days I learn the most.