Bed time routine

So this blog was once about theological ideas and faith etc. Well I'm a dad of three now so if I blog at all it will probably be about them. Today, I shared my boys' bedtime routine with my sister who is babysitting tonight.... When you type it all out, it really makes clear that these kids are crazy!

ENJOY.

I will now write down the ever expanding bedtime routine, which if you deviate from, they might kill you.

For one, bed time starts about 8:30 now. Get them into PJs about then. Jacob HAS to pee. Nathan, suggest it. Benny, obviously gets new diaper.

Brush teeth. We don't do mouthwash with them anymore no matter what they tell you lol

If they're being crazy, let them brush themselves, but try to make sure the brush touches teeth and isn't just a conduit for drinking toothpaste.

Following teeth is the "drinking game." This stops the "I'm thirstry" refrain from occuring once in bed. Grab a cup, you get to play.

Possible script. 

"DRINK. Okay now stand on one foot.... and drink. Now spin around slow.... and drink....aaaaand I'm full"

When you're "full" they're usually ok being done. sometimes they demand to lead them game....your call.

At this point, I suggest putting Benny down. He's a bit hard to handle while doing the rest with the big boys. Oh, hold him during drinking game with his cup. He kinda likes to play.

So next is the dreaded story time.

Jacob will want his "Spot a Jedi" book (appropriate length). Nathan will want his Spongebob book (too damn long). There is no resolution that will satisfy both. May God be with you.

oh suggestion though. There's a softcover bunny bible somewhere in their room...they love it... sometimes that'll work for both.

After story is prayer. They'll ignore you most likely, do it anyway. They need Jesus.

Then Jacob "tackle hugs" Nathan. We have repeatedly tried to end this practice...they love it. Just make sure no one's head is smashed.

Now comes the new wrinkle of doom. You have to make them both, simultaneously, "disappear." Basically you hold them by their legs with their heads and upper bodies behind you while turning around and saying "Where's Jacob and Nathan?" until you want to die.

Now this is important

While turning, you drift to the light switch and dangle Jacob near enough that he can switch the light off and then on again.and do the same for Nathan

failure at this point will extend bedtime forever

Nathan turns it off, on, and off again. Then move away before he can turn it back on.

Deposit Jacob in bed, and tickle the twerp. Do the same to Nathan, and REALLY tickle the twerp. (Seriously. He won’t stop talking about it if you don’t.)

Now you've got them in bed! Sing the PJ mask song and then twinkle twinkle. You will be asked for various hugs and kisses.

Remind them if they don't go to sleep good, then don't get a sticker!

leave room.

Trust to hope.

Booze is in the cabinet by the back door