"Its ok. It's going to be fine. Just remember to breathe."
A year ago today I kept repeating those words, but to be fair, I was saying them to myself, not to Kelli. In fact, she wasn't even in full-blown labor yet, but I had a hunch July 23 was going to be the day.
I don't remember everything from the day of Jacob's birth. I remember watching movies at home. I remember a long debate over whether it was time to go. I remember Kelli's face winching with contractions.
I loosely remember getting in the car. I remember the 39284754829 steps of the LONG walk from Christ Hospital's parking garage to the maternity ward, the early exam, lots of waiting, suddenly less waiting, then more waiting, epidural time, Kelli in no pain, then Kelli in lots of pain and then....
"Wahhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Louder than a Banshee and with more confused rage than I'd ever heard, a perfect little boy shouted his hello to the world. Around 6 a.m. Jacob was the alarm clock for the world that day and he's never stopped shouting. Anyone who has met my son knows that he wants you to know he's here. He won't let you forget, not that you could.
The little guy we'd once affectionately called "Baby Buttface" because he made his mommy not feel well was suddenly out and able to express his own displeasure with things. He was a pink and perfect and STRONG little person.
As soon as Jacob was out, even before his "Grand Hello," Kelli and I had a similar reaction. Something about that first sight of the boy led me to utter a guttural, primal sound I cannot recreate or explain clearly. It was a sigh, a laugh, a shout. Maybe it was part cry, part prayer. My conscious brain wasn't a part of that sound, but I felt it in my soul. I finally understood love at first sight.
The past year has been amazing, challenging and altogether just a big ol' bunch of WOW.
We took him home, fed him, changed him, loved him. He screamed and cried. We screamed and cried. He slept, we didn't. We slept, he didn't. We experienced the fear of his illnesses and trepidation of waiting for milestone.
Kelli and I spent hours in conversations like this.
Me: "I think he's swinging at nothing."
Kelli: "No, he's trying to grab Mr. Lion."
Me: "If anything he's reaching for Mr. Turtle. Pshaw....Mr. Lion."
Eventually his eyes focused on us, and I think he fell in love too. He rolled, he held his head. He sat.
He smiled, he cooed, he laughed, he crawled.
He's been a pumpkin, Yoda, Santa and and Elf.
He experienced his first falls, first foods, his first move to a new home.
Now he stands, talks, crawls at light speed and is thinking about walking. He cuddles and hugs us back. He says Daddy, duck, uh-oh, bottle, baby and doggy, all in his own Jacob dialect.
He can get into things you'd never imagine and still to this day if he doesn't think you're paying attention, you'll hear that Banshee cry until you give him what he demands.
Being a parent with Kelli has been such a wonderful adventure and we're excited to be doing it again. Today though is all about the baby who is becoming a little boy before our eyes.
I love you Jacob Michael Stegeman. Happy birthday little buddy. I can't wait to get home from work and give you and your mom a big hug and kiss.
Your whole family will be there to celebrate this weekend and let me let you in on a secret....You're going to LOVE cake.
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