So my baby boy is either 10 or 11 days old today (Friday, Aug. 2). I guess it depends on who you ask whether the day of the birth is day 0 or day No. 1....I digress.
Today was also a good day. Kelli and I are trying to remember the stuff we learned reading the book Becoming Babywise. If we do what that book says, as others we know have, we should have Jacob on a decent sleep schedule by the time he turns two months old.
He is very clearly NOT yet two months old. We do have a pattern established. He wakes, eats, gets changed, stays awake for a time (occasionally) and repeats. This allows for 2-3 periods of two hours of sleep a night, which I suppose could be far worse. We need to make sure we start the day at the same time each morning where so far, if he's been asleep, we stay asleep as long as we can.
Kelli continues to be a trooper. Not only is she is a new mom dealing with all that, but she has a husband who is on the edge of insanity half the time and she keeps me grounded and doesn't let that send her off the rails. I think its fair to say she's had the usual baby blues but otherwise is doing pretty great.
As for Jacob, he's still eating well and Mommy's making plenty of milk which is great. He has some little blotches or rash marks all over but after looking at a pictorial guide on Babycenter I think it's harmless. At the moment, he continues his plan to make sure mommy and daddy can never go to bed.... We REALLY need to sleep during his daytime naps. Anywho...
Before I go into this next part, let me stress that today was a good day. He had some great wake time/play time, good tummy time and some other random oversleeping times but generally today was really good. This next bit is more just a cumulative reflection..
See here's why I'm so crazy. I deal with stress pretty well. I handle a crisis pretty well. All told, unpleasant moments are often my time to shine....but there's a reason for that....They all end. When those moments end, I decompress.
This doesn't end. This is constant baby crying, changing, baby crying, feeding, baby crying, changing, daddy crying, baby crying, mommy crying madness for the foreseeable future.
Other parents. How the hell do you deal with that? I get it, we have no choice. We're parents and in our self-sacrificial love we just deal with it.... I know that, and I intend to deal with it, but how do you do so without complete mental, physical and emotional collapse? I'm not there yet, but I can't imagine I'm strong enough to go on like this forever without a break.
And again, I know my suffering is minor all told. He's a pretty healthy kid and DOES sleep sometimes. He could be so much worse. I do love the little scamp, but mommy and daddy are humans after all.
Last night to get him back to sleep after a feeding we had to have family sing along hour where kelli and I took turns singing and rocking him until he FINALLY went down. He's been up since 8:30 now (it is 10:11) and he just keeps screaming when we put him down. Kelli's trying the singing rocking approach now. I pray it works.
Eventually I have to go back to work, and I plan on doing my part to help with the little guy. But if my inability to speak or use proper spelling and grammar in these blogs is any indication, I'm going to have to find time for more rest. Mom needs rest too. She doesn't get to go to work and take 8 hours off from being a parent. I'm not sure how we'll make all that work yet, but we will.
We were open to God's gift of a child, and we're open to his grace and will in our lives to raise that child. God, please, please, please give us the strength to do so.
Good night all... we'll leave the light on for you.... we won't be sleeping anyway.
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